PoopyDada does not like to talk much about piss pre-toilet origins, but pee would like you to know that pee used to be a baby grand piano. Piss parents were Steinway models and professors at Juilliard. PoopyDada studied architecture briefly in college until pee met (and allegedly, had an affair with) Professor R. Mutt. It was a “life-changing experience”. PoopyDada decided that pee identified as a toilet and decided to get a sex change at the advice of piss psychiatrist, the esteemed lawn ornament Dr. Gnome Tzotchke, who has overseen the sex change of many a hoe-to-rake, and vice versa.
Only after beginning the sex change (still a work in progress) however did PoopyDada realize pee didn’t know which bathroom pee belonged in. You see, pianos come in two sexes: grand and upright. Pianos however do not have an understanding of gender. PoopyDada got straight to work studying gender theory, formulating piss own theories, and coming to the conclusion that pee wanted piss gender to be a work of pretentious art, just like everything else pee does, with a bathroom to match.
PoopyDada often tells wild stories about piss imaginary friend, Herr No-Depth-Perception, an evil Nazi pirate piano who is apparently friends with all the world’s dictators. Herr No-Depth-Perception once worked as a waterboarder at Gitmo, and also as a double-agent (perhaps triple-agent?) with Fidel Castro. Supposedly the only reason why the CIA was never able to kill Castro after all those years was because Castro had the piano taste-test all his cigars to make sure they weren’t poisoned, and if they were poisoned then Herr NDP got to smoke them since poisoned cigars won’t kill you if you’re a piano.
Supposedly it was through such connections with this imaginary friend that PoopyDada was able to score an appointment at the White House after the infamous golden toilet known as Donald’s Dump, aka the Twittershitter, became the Grand Poop-Bah of our great shitty country. Piss job was in designing and building a dam across the sewer beneath the southern border to “keep the Latrinos out”, but inside the walls of that dam pee was designing gender-bespoke public restrooms and outhouses for all the new genders of Latrinx that were coming in. “Build bathrooms not walls” is PoopyDada’s motto.
PoopyDada Bio
I never realized I liked toilet humor until I read your work. And Dadaist, no less! I suppose that’s appropriate given the urinal (a.k.a. “The Fountain”) heritage 😆
Poo pie....